We can't make them stop but we can learn to not listen to what they are saying. We can learn to take control of the situation & either walk away from them when they start saying crap like that or take control of the conversation & change the topic.

I couldn't do it in my marriage because I had never learned the skills. His thing wasn't about how undeserving but I just couldn't learn not to ask him about things I needed to know or needed him to do & he would always agree & never do it but never tell me he didn't do it....or give me totally wrong information in his brain he was sure he was right. At that time I realized I couldn't live in a marriage like that but at the time I couldn't change how I was handling it or how I reacted. 11 years later when I was dealing with him for resolving the divorce....I had since learned skills to handle him & many times I walked away & other times I just said "not continuing this conversation".

Everyone's mind has neuroplasticity which means even if we learned a way of responding to something all our life we are totally capable of learning a new way of responding to things. A lot of research has been done on this in relation to stroke victims & people who have had a TBI.

Keep always at the forefront of your mind "I am just as deserving as everyone else" that is how we start to reprogram our mind not to accept what they are saying.

You know that joke about men having selective hearing.....they hear what they want to hear. Learn to have selective hearing when it comes to someone telling you something totally WRONG like this.