Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
There's no way I'm giving up my T.
My relationship with T was really difficult in the beginning. I had hope that ex-T would take me back, T felt like the "bad guy", I didn't want to attach to someone else, and I did compare the two. At one point I told her I hated her, and at another point I told her I was shopping for a new T. She made some mistakes too. But we worked through it all. I've been with her for 3.5 years, and I don't plan on ever giving her up. We'll taper down more the less I need her, but she'll always be there when I do need her (except if she moves, retires, or dies). She says she wants to rewrite my story: that not everyone leaves me. I want that. And she has helped me a ton! She helped me with ex-T a lot, with personal issues, my darkest secret, with family issues, etc. Even my dad, who thinks there's nothing wrong with me, thinks I should stay with my T.
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If she's helping, no suggestion of leaving from my side.
My commentary was more in response to the question of why it was taking 3.5 years to get over a therapist and pointing out what helped for me. When something bad happens in therapy, and you're in therapy, it seems the therapy itself is keeping it at least somewhat relevant.
Just my own additional 2 cents, but I think someday, when you do decide you don't need therapy anymore, all things therapy related including the ex-therapist will hold a lot less power. Until then, I think you'll have to work it through with the one you have as best you can. I know it sounds like a mix of depressing yet hopeful advice.