Thanks guys. I had a whole big post explaining even more, but then my internet connection died and i lost everything But to sum it up, right now I feel like I'm falling apart, and I am desperate to get help. It's just hard because on my good days I wonder how much help I need, or if I deserve it, and my parents don't understand or notice anything. So thanks again everyone, I'll keep posting, if things get any worse than they are right now I'll have no choice but to get help.