T today. Went back and sat down. I commented on how unseasonably warm it was, we discussed that a minute. T: "So how are you?" Me: "I'm OK, think I've recovered from conference earlier in week." Discussed professional conference I'd helped plan and how well it went, with T having some positive words for me.

I mentioned how I was probably going to go early vote after session, and we talked a bit about our local elections. T said he'd been to where I was going to vote that morning with his wife, and I was thinking of how awkward it would have been to run into them.

I said I was debating what to talk about today. How there was a topic from the conference I could discuss, or maybe from D trick or treating night before. I said how we'd made it to maybe 10 houses. And how if I had just been out with her alone, I'd have been a mess, because I would have worried about how she was reacting to neighbors, if they were offended, wondering what was wrong with her (she's on autism spectrum), etc. That I felt I had to explain her, like if she didn't say "trick or treat" or acted weird or whatever.

T said he didn't know how I'd react to this. But that most people probably just didn't give a s**t how she acted. Me: "OK. I'm not offended by that." He said how I think so much about what other people think, that in general, people just don't care. He said he wondered how much I was aware of how a neurotypical child her age would act. I said I didn't know because I didn't know many kids. He said I was probably overestimating how NT child would act, how kids act all different ways, that no child would have perfect interaction.

I said I thought maybe that's why I was often reluctant to bring D out places, because I worried about how others would react. Like what if we were in a store and another kid or adult was trying to talk to her, and D wasn't responding or not giving expected response. That I tended to want to explain her, like "She's just shy" or "She's on the spectrum." T said how I didn't have to do that, how kids aren't predictable, that most people are understanding.

This led to T saying how I'm so overly sensitive to other people and how they're feeling. And how most people aren't that way. T: "I wish you could just live in someone else's head for a couple days." Me: "But then I might not want to come back to my head. Could you do that though?" T: "Unfortunately, I don't have the technology."

He said how he also wished that H could be in my head for a bit. Me: "He'd probably want out right away. He'd know how bad it was in there." T: "Actually, I suspect the opposite. That he doesn't realize how much you think and worry about other people. So if he were in your head for a bit, he might be more compassionate toward you." Me: "Or just think 'get me out of here!'"

Me: So how do I stop thinking so much about what other people think? I was talking to a friend, and she said she'd learned to not care what strangers thought. T: "So in a couple of years...I'd like you to get to the point where you can not care what other people think about you. But for now, we need a shorter goal." Me: "OK" (thinking, "a couple years???"). T: "Right now you just need to consider that what they're feeling is more about them than you." Me: "OK." T: "Like if they're bothered by how your D is acting, that's probably more about them." Me: "OK."

T was talking more about how the average person thinks and perceives other people. Me: "So, do you think that way? Sorry...not to pry too much...but just curious if you think that way." T: "I'm not sure how you're going to take this. And maybe you'll contact me about it later. But after this session ends...I have another client at 1:30. I won't think about you after that or for the rest of the day." Me: "OK, I understand that. I mean, I'd want you to be focused on your next client. And I wouldn't want the client before me to be on your mind during my session." T: "OK, glad you understand that. Like I might think during session, 'LT might be bothered by one of a couple things I said today,' but I'd think to myself that maybe she won't be, or if she is, then she'd just email me about it or else she'd bring it up next session. So I wouldn't spend lots of time thinking about your reaction." Me: "OK."

T: "I think maybe if the roles were reversed, maybe you would be sitting there wondering how I'd react." Me: "You mean if I were the therapist?" T: "Yes. Like I could see you thinking about your clients after session, wondering about certain things you'd said and how they took them." Me: "Yeah I could see that. I could see myself lying awake at 2 a.m. worrying about something I'd said to a client. I guess that's a reason I shouldn't be a therapist. Even though I think I'd probably be a good one because I'm empathic." T: "Yes, I think you'd be a good one. But that you'd be thinking about what your clients said and your effect on them." Me: "Yeah, but wouldn't that make me a bad one due to lack of boundaries?" I forget what he said to that.

Talked about some related stuff till like 26 after hour (we meet on the half hour, so it had been 56 minutes). I picked up my phone, knowing we were almost over time, but he still kept talking for a minute or two. Confirmed next week.

Went over to pay. I said how I knew I'd been sick earlier in week, so we didn't shake hands, but was fine today. We shook hands as T said, "Good luck voting!" Me: "Thanks!" T: "Have a good one." Me: "You, too."