LT, about your d, I will add from a been there-done that-have the t-shirt mom perspective that your d is exactly perfectly who she is, who she is meant to be. Full stop. Your heart knows that about her.
So what if another person thinks she's "weird" or not giving the response that person expects? You know who she is.
Many hugs.
ETA: When I say btdt, I don't mean in an "I have all the answers" way. That perspective was hard-won, and it took some hard moments to get the lightbulb to come on.