I just had another small breakdown. And now I'm numb. I'm always numb for a while afterwards. I can't stand always crying like this. I feel so ****ing weak because I can't keep my tears back enough. Why do I keep breaking down? Why is this happening over and over again? Cry, numb out, get pissed, cry again, numb out, get pissed, cry some more. I hate living like this.