What I really like about what your T said is that he's clear it's a process, not an instant event where once you see things "correctly," you'll stop worrying and thinking so much. I think that people are on a continuum with this, where on one end someone is a narcissist or a psychopath or a whatever (doesn't care at all about how they affect other people or what other people think of them) and at the other end is someone who *only* cares what others think of them. I think if one errs on one side or the other, caring too much is a better place to be. But it does compromise you and your selfness, and affects your relationships including your parenting. One thing about that I'll note, as a parent of a kid who is not on the spectrum but not typical either, is that being worried about what other people think of your child may lead to them feeling less accepted by you. At least for my kid, when I gave up my need to have him be a certain "acceptable" way with others, that's--paradoxically-- when he really flourished socially. Now he is warm and kind, and can talk to anybody about anything. It's like my worrying got in his way, and one thing I've really wanted not to do as a parent is get in his way or control him. Letting him be seemed to help him evolve into who he was meant to be.

It seems to me like you are on your way to changing this. You are aware of when you are doing the "too much caring about what others think." You are openly discussing it with your T. Your next move forward could be anything.