I appreciate you guys.

I'm feeling so vulnerable and small like a child. I cried on my ex's chest last night (we're still friends). This pain is too much for me. Everyone keeps telling me I can handle this. That I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. I don't believe this to be the case. The fact is, this secret has spilled out three times, to three people... and I feel even worse now than I did before. There's no one here to catch me. I hope spikes are at the bottom of this pit, so when I land there will be no chance I have to keep going. It's not quite that I want to die. I just don't want to live with this. I can't live with this.

"The weight that rests upon my chest has left me breathless,
At night the demons haunt my mind, they leave me restless,
I'm good for nothing."