Inside My Head There is A Wheel.The Mouse Wheel,The Faster My Thoughts Are The Faster The Wheel Turns. I often Worry A Lot More Than I Should but I Do.Its A Bad Habit.The Thoughts Race and Then The Wheel Spins Faster.The Stress Builds As The Wheel Goes Faster.I Fear of someday It Going To Fast.Oh It Slows Down But When It Does I get So Down About Life My Faith In God is The Only Thing That Saves Me.But I Await The Day And Worry When Even It Wont Help.Life Has Its Ups And Downs.The Questions,How,When,Where,And Oh Yes WHY About My Lifes Illnesses.I have Had A Heart Attack,Sleep Apnea,Diabetes,High Blood Pressure,Copd,And I wiegh 315 lbs And Im 511 I Am over 130 pounds overweight.But The Wheel Still Turns Again And Again The Thoughts Hammer Those Same Questions.See When I was 8 My Mom Tried Suicide.She spends the rest of Her Life in A Home.She Was Declared Mental In the 70s.She Was Given A Lot Of Shock Therapy.These questions scare me as Well As What The Answers Could Be.But What Scares Me The Most Of The Results Of That Speeding Mouse Wheel.I am Currently On 200 mg of Zoloft,3 doses of visteril 50 mg,and 30 mg of Remeron For Sleep,And 1000mg of Depakote At Bedtime/Sometimes These work And Sometimes I Awake and can Barely Go Back Sleep For The Wheel Turning.I have thought of Suicide But Part of Me Says STOP.Maybe someday the wheel will Stop but I fear The outcome.