Hi SeptemberMorn,
Gee do I relate to you! No money, and the kids wanting things, which in turn starts that downward spiral...etc. etc. I have to point out that I have since married and moved away from my kids, (they are adults now) but I am struggling with the same issues of the black and white, all or nothing type thinking that I do so well. When you mentioned SABOTAGE, it jumped out at me. I remember my doc telling me years ago that I was a master at self-sabotage, and thinking to myself he was off the wall. It took me many years to accept that I indeed am a master of it, and have to constantly ask myself if that is what I am doing. I haven't worked since I moved in November 1991, I have sent out a few resumes and never heard anything back, so I sort of resigned myself to being "not good enough, not experienced enough" etc. basically to being stuck in my present situation. I can always come up with an excuse, my best one being my car needs work and is sitting parked for the last 5 months. I thought about what can I do to sell...crafty things, but get stuck there too. I am not artistic, can't sew etc.
After I read your post, I have to wonder if I am setting myself up to fail before I even start...hmmmm Thanks for planting a thought in my head!!! Sometimes I need a good boot in the rear to see what I am doing or not doing!

Pondering things over....
J