My T had me explore "disappointment" once and I got to do that when my husband decided to go "play" instead of do his chores and it was interesting when I went along with his reasoning instead of fighting it. He didn't feel well and was hoping the playing would help take his mind off his pains. I want his to feel good so I decided to go along with that and explore my own sense of why doing his chores at that time should be more important.

You might try that. Sincerely tell him you hope he enjoys himself and comes back more envigorated and refreshed and at the same time look to see what else you would want that is more important than that?

I learned that I had a lot of notions from my stepmother's ideas of how things should be done (chores instead of play but the chores could be there when he got back! why did I feel he had to do them "then" just because I was doing mine then and wasn't part of his enjoying himself?). Could be a little that he's enjoying something and you don't share that, sibling jealousy type thing. Too, you mentioned that he says you all don't have money but why you take his word for it and do what he says, etc. rather than judge and use money or not according to your good judgment? Could be you might want to work on being joint/married in all aspects so he doesn't "control" how you think of the money in the marriage, etc. He's not your father or someone, he's your "partner".