I first went on Bupropion (Wellbutrin) is in 2011 because of stress at work and home and suicidal thoughts. At the time, it was my first psychiatrist visit and it stopped my suicidal thoughts but was probably making me manic. I knew nothing about bipolar. He diagnosed me with depression and said this will make you feel better. Before Bupropion, I would have one or two drinks while I prepared dinner. After Bupropion, I would also drink after my whole family went to sleep. The Bupropion and alcohol were a bad combination for me.

However, in 2015, 30 days after stopping the Bupropion cold turkey, I made a very serious attempt. After that attempt, I was put back on it. Then I started reading more about psychiatric drugs. What I found out made me paranoid about my medications--I tried cutting back on them or stopping multiple times thinking they were responsible for my problems but each time I cut back or stopped, it caused a lot of problems with my anxiety and mood swings.

I am doing really well now because my VA psychiatrist found a good combination of drugs for me. She cut my Bupropion way back--I only take 100 mg a day--after my release from the hospital in 2015--they mostly had me on 200 mg, even tried 300 mg a day. It was way too much. I only took the 300 mg pills for two days because I could only sleep one hour a night on that dose. I also take Sertraline (Zoloft), Gabapentin and Xanax. I have finally accepted the medications and the dosages that my doctor prescribed and it is really helping with my stability. When I worried about a couple of side effects from the Sertraline (libido and emotional numbing) and told my psychiatrist about them--she cut the dosage in half and it really seems to be what I need to function best at work and home. So if you do not feel like your drugs are helping enough or are causing problems--ask for something else or for the dosages to be adjusted.

Also, after my 2015 attempt--I quit drinking. I am so glad that I did.