Hi there I know you guys replied a while ago and I really appreciate you replying. Sorry to keep bringing this up . I think I would benefit from therapy but I don’t know how I could ever tell a therapist this I feel just so stuck and unable to get free. You see the reason why I can’t speak to a therapist is because I live in a small town and everyone thinks I’m happy and smiley and I don’t know the thoughts are just so bad. Sorry I don’t want to burden you guys but I don’t know i can’t stop thinking about how things were like when I was young. There’s so many emotions going on - fear, unhappiness, worried about ‘going mad’ and then other emotions so what do you think I could explain to a therapist? Serious question would a therapist have the skills deal with my situation ? Ughhh the phrase ‘be sure your sin will find you out’ is so true. Someone actually mentioned this article in a school class a few weeks before I remembered and I hadn’t any recollection of me fantasising about that’s how much I repressed it. Clearly that reminded me of it - sorry I just don’t know anymore