Parenting a teenager has been an exercise in trying to teach him not to insert meanings I don't believe or say, and how harmful it is to relationships to do this. I've bashed my head metaphorically a few times when he's said the nearly cliche lines, "so you're saying you don't love me" or "you're saying I'm just a screw up with no chance at a decent life," blah blah blah.

But my family was of the sort where the "hidden meanings" were actually the true ones, at least when they said them. I had to learn to just say what I thought while skipping the land mines, what I call a position of limited agreement. Once I saw my son, in kindergarten at the time, negotiate this with a friend of a different faith. Friend said, "do you believe in Jesus Christ the Savior of the World?" Boy said, "I believe Jesus was a man." Friend said, "it's good you believe in Jesus."