You said you both partied when you first dated. You said you went to rehsb & changed but you didn't say anythibg about him soing anything similsr with his life. So my questiln is whether he is still living that lifestyle as to ehy he is never home for dinner or before you are in bed?

I did that with my H but I used my career to escape from him. No amount of marriage counseling fixed our marriage because I just couldn't deal with him though I tolerated his crap for way too many years.

If he is willing to go to counselling great. If not & yiu can't rven kbow why he is staying away from you then it is best to end the marriage before you really get financially entrenched with each other.

I honestly wasn't in touch with why I worked & stayed away from my H until after I left him & finally had gpod therspy to understand ehat I had been living with with my H & with my parents growing up. But I got married at 21, not at 35 & the issues I was dealing with in my H & had dealt with all my life with my dad wasn't even diagnosed at that point in time.