I have been in a relationship with a guy with borderline personality disorder for just under a year. I experienced 7 suicide attempts in that time, along with his severe depression and anxiety, and huge amounts of manipulation and control. At one stage I started to think the only way out of this relationship was if I died. Last night after another suicide attempt over the phone to me, I decided I was done. Once his family and the police had located him, I sent a message the next morning to tell him I simply can’t go on with the relationship. Although I know I’ve made the right decision for my own sake, I am haunted by guilt and sadness. He is currently in hospital following his suicide attempt and his family are with him and I just feel so horrible that I’ve left him, but I’ve been through this so many times and I can’t take anymore trauma. He was also very verbally abusive at times and controlled me to the point I felt guilty for having friends.

I just wondered if I could get some advice on what to do with all this sadness and guilt I now feel. I was supposed to be getting therapy, but I’ve started a new job and am struggling to work it in around my schedule as I finish late in the day. I feel I need support to deal with all of the pain I feel but I don’t know what to do.