clydeblack
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way right now. I say right now because it can change for the better.
I also have bipolar disorder but on a pretty good regiment of medications and have a good support system and I can wake up every day feeling normal and ready for the day. I have been depressed and know how you feel. Sometimes it sneaks in and I get a bad thought or something but for the most part the feeling is contentment. not necessarily "happy" but just content with life. It is a nice feeling and way better than I have been in the past. But I do get other emotions, muted. I do get happy but never excited happy . I do get sad but just hope it doesn't turn into anything dark. I think that's the medicines. But its better than swinging back and forth in extremes.
So I have a job, a family and my limitations. I know what gets me off track and basically avoid them. If I can't I get help to deal with them.
I hope for you to get help as well. it is possible to be fully functional. you get some setbacks, but can spring back.
Wishing you well.