With all the stuff going on in my life lately I feel so depressed and yes I am crying a lot to. I suppose part of it is because this will be the first holiday season without my mom,among other things, I know I worry a lot and sometimes that actually makes me very depressed. My best friend came to sit with me she sits with me two days a week, she let me hold her hand and said she was here for me. I almost started crying. I feel so sorry for her to because she has some physical problems. I pray all the time asking for God's help but I am not getting anywhere. I feel like I am being punished for having this mental illness. I am sorry if I am a bother to anyone. I try so hard to be normal but I guess that will never happen. I admit it I do worry a lot but that is part of my anxieties sometimes I wish I was a kid again because I never had anxieties sure I was always a nervous person. Then again maybe I did have anxieties when I was in high school many a times I had trouble breathing and swallowing the nurse told me it was my stomach and I have gerd now too also that it was nerves, I can tell you one thing my mom was a very nervous person I often wonder if she had anxieties, Well she is gone now I wish I could bring her my dad and my husband back but we all know that cannot happen, I guess I talked enough ,thanks for listening oh ya May God Bless You All.