I am feeling the same tonight. I'm fighting really hard right now, and I have very little left to fight with.

I have been to the IP 2 times for "suicidal ideation". Both times all they did was make me stay in those terrifying dumps for some days. Nothing else. No med help. In fact, I had to wait days just to be seen by a disinterested pdoc. One night some woman tried to smother me with a pillow. It was terrifying. I was bored out of my mind and just sat and cried while the zombies around me watched TV or went outside in a tiny courtyard and smoked.