If I can offer an example from my own therapy....

I have an ongoing terror that people are going to stop loving me if I gain weight. At more than one point, I have flat-out asked C if his feelings towards me would change if I gained a lot of weight. He flat-out refuses to answer this question. Or, worse yet, says he doesn't know.

We have bashed this point to pieces & I have almost left multiple times over it. C is VERY logical -- he says his feelings ARE likely to change, because that's the nature of feelings - My own feelings might change & depending on that, his feelings will change (if I gain a bunch of weight but am happy - he may be happier for me; if I gain a bunch of weight and hate myself, he may hurt for me).

Of course, what I'm really looking for is some sort of vital "I will still love you if you're fat." He refuses to give it not because it's not true but because he wants me to trust him. I'll go off about how I can't trust him if he won't SAY it. He'll remind me that people can say anything - words are not reliable...on and on the circle goes.

It's very hard. It leaves me in this place of "not knowing." Not knowing what will happen if I gain weight. Not knowing what he's thinking about me & my character. On and on.