I don't mean to Monday morning quarterback your T, or criticize him harshly, but for me the problem in the situation is your H. You need to be living in a safe situation, not an abusive one, in order to heal. Even now your concern about taking care of yourself (being in the hospital) is about your H missing his "mandatory meeting" which I don't understand, unless you being in the hospital means he has childcare responsibilities and therefore would miss this meeting.

I think your T needs to be focusing on how to help you find a safe living situation for you and your children. Apparently your H will not stop his violent behavior, and your T is focusing on how you respond to that. If you can get away from your violent H, it seems like the problem with your self harming will be solved.

You don't have to justify your decision to me or anybody else, but I don't think your T is addressing the real problems, at least as told through this incident. And I know you know what your options are and the resources that can help you change your living situation, but I guess I would just say from working with quite a few people in your situation, that your health and the well being of your children is far more important than whatever it is your husband is supposed to do. He needs to be accountable for the consequences of what he does, and what's happening in your therapy is the opposite of that-- it's all about you and how "dangerous" you are to yourself.