So, last week I felt you were being evasive when I asked why some folks get PTSD and others don't. You hesitated, then asked why I needed to know the answer to that question, which felt like you were avoiding telling me I'm a total f** up. So I pressed on, asked you outright if you thought I was a TFU, and you hesitated again.

Being the neurotic mess that I am, I perseverated on it all week. So, today, I brought it up again, and asked you directly if I was broken. And there was silence. A lot of silence. And finally, you said that the idea of being broken was "my perception". And your delay in response is because you were thinking about how to respond to "my perception" that I was broken. Yeah, right. And then you said it wasn't your job to fix my perception of being broken, and there was no way to know if I would ever get better.

Would it have been the worst thing in the world to say that I'm not a total loser? I would have settled for some psychobabble to make me feel better.

I would have even settled for a lie.

And I am so ashamed of myself. I'm a grown woman, literally begging for a tiny kibble of support.