There's one sentence in his email that really struck me...and not in a good way. The one where he acts like he just doesn't get it why you want to hear that he cares about you. That statement from him seems either disengenuous or dumb.

I mean, he has a phD in psychology and he isn't sure why you may crave to hear the words "I care about you" in the context of a psychotehrapy relationship for attachement issues??? I get that he doesn't want to say the words....but to act like you're an anomoly for simply craving the verbal reassurance smacks of shaming (and possibly gaslighting) to me.

I know I'm bringing my own issues into my interpretation of his email...but come on- he shouldn't be playing dumb about your attachment longings at this point. From what you've posted, you have been extremely self-aware and good at naming your own issues regarding trust, transference and attachment.

Of course, if he chooses to establish that boundary then he doesn't have to (and probably shouldn't) give you want you want in terms of saying "I care about you", but to blame/shame/act surprised when you express such normal and logical longings is really not therapeutic (in my opinion).