I am definitely hypomanic today. I didn’t fall asleep until midnight again (and only with the help of my weighted blanket) and woke up at 6:30 ready to go. Usually I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I left early for work so I could have more time to blast my music in my car. I sped around town not caring if I got a ticket. I was practically running through the halls at work. Tapping my foot all day.

Then i went to Trader Joe’s where I wanted to buy a bunch of stuff but didn’t because I don’t have the money. The urge to spend is there but I still have insight to stop it. I only bought a couple of things. However, one of them was wine. The urge to drink is strong. I will probably drink it tonight (I don’t have work tomorrow). Don’t lecture me on bp and alcohol, I already know. I don’t care.

Then I came home, cleaned my car, vacuumed it, then went inside and cleaned the whole dining room. Swept, mopped, everything. I hate cleaning lol. I was going to do the bathroom too but I ran out of time before I had to pick my son up.

I don’t feel like eating but I’m ravenous so I just had a small bag of popcorn (I’m at swim lessons with my son) and will most likely eat dinner when I go home. Usually I would have had a second lunch by now.

Most of all, I feel fantastic. I have that familiar electrified feeling, like everything is just brighter and more colorful. My thoughts are still clear but I have music playing in my head. When I’m around people my energy gets transferred to them which is a pain but I can keep it to myself when I’m alone. That’s what I like.

I am having a wonderful time but still hoping it’s just a fluke, that I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling normal. Because I can’t handle a crash. I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for.

I’m hoping I have a safe landing.