Well......I NEVER discuss this at all. But I will add a reason to the list. The emotional reasons "NOT TO" get discussed a lot. The possible physical outcomes do not.

Infection.....Horrible Pain....Life Threatening.....Terrible Scars

I cut my inner elbow badly one evening. For the next few days, it got redder & redder. I started to run a fever and felt sick. I finally went to my doctor. I told him and others that I had done it accidentally. I ended up in the hopital for 10 days. Part of this in the ICU. The rest in isolation. I had gotten a staph/cellulitis infection. It got in my bloodstream. I became septic. My kidneys started to shut down. I had to go to surgery every other day for days to have more tissue cut away. They would leave the wound open with drains. Tons of IV antibiotics. Even a pain pump full of dilaudid did not give me full relief or let me sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Misery. GUILT.........so much guilt.

I am being descriptive because this is the real story. It's scary & ugly. I had to endure a whole summer of physical therapy to get the function of my arm & hand back. I have a large chunk of the crook in my arm gone from the surgery to cut away the dead tissue. I will have this mutilated reminder to look at every day for the rest of my life.

Please think about this. I still want to SI lots of times. I have slipped a few even after almost dying. It's a powerful problem. I AM getting help and I AM getting better at knowing when I am at risk and what to do when that happens. Treat it seriously and work on it seriously.

tulips