Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Trust your instincts, if, and only if you have a track record that shows that your instincts are right in most cases. The truth is, there are a lot of other things that can trigger anxiety and panic outside of being instinctual. Not knowing what your patterns are, your typical reactions to things, I would not jump to the conclusion that this is the case.
Do you have a pattern of running away from something that seems too good to be true? Do you have the expectation consistently that says the worst will happen? How do you view yourself, do you expect women to be trustworthy or not? Look at yourself and consider whether this is based on habitual fears or if it's based on reality.
On the surface at this point, I would say you're pointing out it went well without highlighting any warning flags so likely it's based on a fear of either it "not working out" or other things that would make you expect the worst.
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I’m reluctant to trust my instincts, because I don’t have much experience in this area, so my instincts aren’t really based on anything. Even in general I’m not sure how much I even use my instincts. Normally I try to be someone who weighs up the evidence before making a decision and doesn’t just jump to conclusions. Making a snap decision isn’t something that usually makes me comfortable, which is why I don’t like the idea my brain is trying to coerce me to run away.
My general lack of uncertainty is what’s getting me here. I just have no idea whether what I’m feeling is rational and I’m not sure what course of action to take. If I decided to (panic and) push this other person away, who’s to say whether it’s the right decision? Am I just going to go through the exact same thing whenever I next try to date someone?
Do I have a habit of running away from things that seems too good to be true? I’m not sure. When I started my new job, I was pretty anxious a lot of the time (thinking my co-workers hated me and that I was going to be fired), but I’ve been there nearly 6 months now and I’m a lot more relaxed about it. That’s kind of the only relevant example I can give though, as, most of the stuff I do, I’ve done for a long while, so I’m more certain of that. I’m apprehensive when I start new things, but I try to persevere if I enjoy them and give them a try to get a fair feel for them. I always want to trust people, unless they give me a reason not to, so I'll tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Apart from giving this a fair chance, is there anything I can do to help myself in these situations? Is there a trick to managing the anxiety?