today was one of those days that if I could have reached thru the phone I would have strangled someone ... I have not been this mad in years ... all the pills I take I guess saved me from killing myself or someone else ... but did not stop the rage from coming to the top ...

been so calm for so long ... amazing how close to the surface it hides ... I got to find a good T ... been several hours and I still feel a knot in my gut ... I really wanted to take out a truck on the way home ... close ... very close ...

just a rant ... but I did scare myself a little ( a lot ) ... my pdoc would be proud I did not take any xanex ... but boy did I want too ...