What you are both going through is understandably overwhelming. I admire the strength of spirit you are demonstrating but know we all have our limits so I am concerned about you.

As for advice I would suggest you pull in all the resources you have (people especially such as friends/family) as you can't continue to hold this on your own. I can understand your respect for your husband and not wanting to force him into hospital but if there is a breaking point for him you may have to act to save his life.

Before anything you need to continue to look after you first as you are no help to him if you spiral out of control. For me little things like listening to music I like or getting lost in a TV series or book for a while can help at least a little bit. However what you need is the right medication to calm your mind down. You sound at least hypomanic but probably mixed which is hell. Can you see a general medical doctor and send out a flare. Maybe they can help?

Again I am so sorry you are both suffering so much. A month until a specialist appointment sounds way to far off. Do you also have an appointment? Can you get an emergency one? Sorry I am rambling. I am just so concerned. It breaks my heart you are both suffering so much and I sincerely wish you both a swift improvement to your situation.