Having no car is tough. I agree that it would be helpful to get into your pdoc before Dec 4th. Though you are struggling, you seem to be recognizing what is going on which is a positive. Sorry you are both suffering so much. I hope those voices in your head quiet down. They obviously won't completely go away until your circumstance get better. Remember, take care of yourself first so you are able to be helpful for your husband. We can't monitor others 24 hours a day, rather, sometimes we have to realize that we can only do so much.