that is the hardest part. We wish & want things to be the way we want them to be so badly that it is difficult to convince ourselves that REALITY is not what we wish it was.

I spent my whole married life waiting for him to grow up. I realized that I had expectstions from a husband that I just couldn't let go of & the only solution was to leave because that was the only way I could gain full control over everything & all the information I needed to be able to live my life without having to fight the battles he caused to happen in our married life. It was a hard conclusion to come to & act on.....but it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

A few months after I left & was basically camping out in my farm house 2100 miles away from him because I had no furniture thought about the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" & realized that definitely was not happening in my case. In fact, absence was making my own peaceful feeling grow stronger. That was when the beginnings of putting my reality together started to happen.

I had initially thought that my leaving him would make him want to work on changing the things that caused the problems. (I had no idea that he was mentally incapable of changing what was causing the problems). I realized I could NEVER go back to living like that. Sometimes our real relization comes when we can be away & look at the big picture without being daily baragged with good & bad experiences.

Glad you are keeping up your determination to stay away.