Mary Alice,

I was hoping that he would call you too, but that he hasn't doesn't mean that you don't mean anything to him. He could be respecting your right to make choices for yourself. It wouldn't be very professional for him to call everyone who cancelled an appointment and demand an explanation, would it? He has to allow you to choose what you will do.

I could tell you about being disappointed in therapists for not calling too. I've told you how much I really like my T. It's kind-of not the usual relationship, since he knows my family and works in my husband's office. One effect of that is that I'm easy for him to ask a favor of such as in case of scheduling problems or he just has something else to do that day, and I am frequently asked if it would be okay to cancel or reschedule. If I said no, he would be there, but I've never said no. And he doesn't call me to ask - the secretary does. Once I was hurt because there were three times in a row that he cancelled on me (and he's only in town every other week), and after him cancelling three times in a row I just didn't bother making another appointment. I thought he should at least call and ask why or if I thought that I was finished or something, but he never did. It was a year and a half before I went back again and that was after an incident that made it really obvious that I needed to. And he does care - that has been proven. I guess it was just entirely my idea that he ought to call, and he must have figured that I knew I could make another appointment any time. So not calling does't mean not caring. It just means that he trusts you to make decisions for yourself.

Wendy

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>