The only other time
Or place I will see
My blood father is
When we both
Go to hell.
So that means never.
If I learnt one
Thing from that
Temporary stay at
My Grans, mums mum.
Is that you tormented
Me at the wedding
Where I was caught
On camera throwing
A bit of a wobbler.
It was your ....fathers fault.
My Gran said. The ellipsis
Where the word got,
Stuck in her throat.
You were never a dad.
The prime reason
I will never exchange
One more word with
You is what do you think?
What did my mum
Finally confess to me
When both my real
Grandparents had passed?
You did not come and see
Me being born. There
Was nothing or nobody
Stopping you. So
For that reason alone
My mum had reason
To divorce you.
I had reasons to
Not come to the funeral.
I might not be at yours.
I will lay flowers,
Away from prying eyes.
I will visit your grave.
But I cannot come
To your funeral.
Sorry your life did
Not turn out the
Way you wanted.
But how many people's
Lives do!? You wanted a
Boy but got a girl.
You never wanted
To leave the army.
You never wanted
My mum to leave.
Will I shed your name?
I am undecided.