Hang in there. Are you in a 12 Step program? I’m not suggesting get out and go people at an AA meeting...just do the exercises on your own. I drank myself into a seriously fragile liver. That sucker might repair itself but it can’t keep up trying to wet vac your blood supply over the long haul. I quick cold turkey on a random day in late 2009. I had a few headers off the wagon when my mom died but sine 2011, I haven’t had more than a (see, I’m enjoying your overly decorated party) sips of champagne or wine...just until I could find an unsuspecting potted plant to pour it into. It’s tough. I’m not gonna lie but it’s baby steps. Even if you have to self talk every minute...just think, “for the next sixty seconds I’m still ok...” and go from there. Call somebody you can trust and ask them t check on you a few times a day. Set an alarm on your phone that includes a note of positivity. If you have an iPhone and can’t find anyone to talk to...talk to SIRI. Sometimes that can be incredibly entertaining. Just find ways to go another day then reward yourself and start over. I’ve watched you be so awesome to others struggling, including me when I finally got clear of a spastic manic enough to help the hubby and do the thing I hate most in the world...Peopleing. Do what you have to in order to love yourself...you got this!