Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
He is a first class manipulator. Your fights wirh him are probably you reacting to his crap.
From my personal experience in a marriage that was non stop fighting except when around other people it was a hell that I should have stopped living in long before I did. Should I have changed to accomodate my H & stop the fighting???? NO WAY!!!! He was the one that was wrong. We should NOT lower our standards to accomidate someone who it is obvious is a manipulator.
He broke up with you & now wonders why you are blocking him out if your life so he can't hurt you any more than he has...& is trying to make you feel guilty about it? What a jerk. He was the one who broke up with you or has he forgotten all about that little fact? Manipulators are good at forgetting facts.
Then the question is. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that? Do you really love him or do you love what you wish he would be like & the relationship you WISH it was like....not what it really is?
If you unblick him & get back together how long before he does this to you again? How long before he starts doing things ypu can't tolerate & start fighting again? Is this what you learned growing up that relationships are like? (It is very dysfunctional & it may just be because you are reacting to his dysfunction)
You really need to analize what you really want in a relationship & whether he can REALLY provide what you need or want. Questions you need to ask yourself honestly before you ever return to this relationship.
His playing so innocent is just a really HUGE red flag you need to be aware of.
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It is not worthy because I know that it’s never going to work out. We will be fine, I will be cooking, cleaning, doing everything for him Monday through Thursday and then he will be partying from bar to bar while I’m at work on weekends and don’t have celular signal where I work and can’t call him. Then I will ask “What did you do?” and he would either say that he is not a little kid and don’t have to tell me everything he does or answer very briefly with not so many details. And then I will get mad and say something and we will start fighting. If is not that one I have another example; he would receive messages from his lady “friends”, I’ve missed you or why did you hang up is Karen. When we started talking, I always had this feeling that there was something shady about him, I told my brother many times. But then I went on a date with him and he was a gentleman. But things changed quickly, I would say I didn’t like something and he will get very defensive and will start screaming. We fought constantly but when things were fine he was the sweetest most caring person. I feel that is why I’m having a hard time dealing with the break up, I miss being with him every day. I know he doesn’t deserve me, that I deserve someone that will treat me right, and not treat me right a percentage of the time we spend together. He is very manipulative, he doesn’t know what he wants! He doesn’t want to be with me but he still wants me there. I cried a lot yesterday when I talked to him yesterday, and he just turned the focus of attention on him.. He is very selfish, I don’t want to continue having feelings for this person, I just want to be “normal” again.