Dear Former T,
I miss you so much. It hurts. I wish that there was a magic wand that could be swiped around me and suddenly I wouldn’t hurt. I think it’s good that I miss you, because it means that the depth of my feelings for you was there, and they were real. It’s like you can’t have the good without the bad. By having the bad, I know I had the good. I hated losing you. It feels like the worst thing in my life. I don’t know how long I am going to grieve for, but I can only imagine that it is going to be a long time. At least most days I don’t have that terrible pain in my chest, tearing at me. But the pain is there. It’s real. It isn’t going away. It’s amazing how something that helped me so much when I was seeing you, is hurting me so much, now that I can’t see you. I wonder if I would have known that, would I have gone through everything with you. But I think I would have. I saw you for 10 years. I had 10 good years. Surely, I won’t hurt like this for 10 years. But you are worth the hurt. Every bit. Kit.