I'm sorry. I have a hard time too.

My first hospitalization, I was evaluated by a group of pdocs & Ts. One of the pdocs there thought I was bipolar I while the other 2 thought it was major depression. I will never forget that doctor who thought I was bipolar told me, "You will never be able to live alone. If you hold down a job, it will be difficult. You will always need to live with someone else."

At the time, I thought that was a negative attitude and a lousy thing to throw on a 25 year old, so pessimistic.

As the years go by though, God, I realize he was right. If I'd been alone, I don't think I could have kept up a household. I barely do it now. I would have crashed and burned and likely not even be here right now.

It's like a horrible curse or something and yet it's there. I have come to terms with it. On the one hand, I know I am a strong woman who has survived a lot of crap many others would not have. I know as a young adult, I flourished, and in high school, it looked like the sky was the limit when it came to my future. I was crushed when that sky fell down on me.

But it's OK I can't live on my own. I'm lucky I at least have family to help me, family who hasn't just thrown up their hands and given up on me.

And for now, I just have to accept that and live with it. Life could always be worse.