Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybook
I'm sorry. I have a hard time too.
My first hospitalization, I was evaluated by a group of pdocs & Ts. One of the pdocs there thought I was bipolar I while the other 2 thought it was major depression. I will never forget that doctor who thought I was bipolar told me, "You will never be able to live alone. If you hold down a job, it will be difficult. You will always need to live with someone else."
At the time, I thought that was a negative attitude and a lousy thing to throw on a 25 year old, so pessimistic.
As the years go by though, God, I realize he was right. If I'd been alone, I don't think I could have kept up a household. I barely do it now. I would have crashed and burned and likely not even be here right now.
It's like a horrible curse or something and yet it's there. I have come to terms with it. On the one hand, I know I am a strong woman who has survived a lot of crap many others would not have. I know as a young adult, I flourished, and in high school, it looked like the sky was the limit when it came to my future. I was crushed when that sky fell down on me.
But it's OK I can't live on my own. I'm lucky I at least have family to help me, family who hasn't just thrown up their hands and given up on me.
And for now, I just have to accept that and live with it. Life could always be worse.
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Thank you for sharing.

You are strong. It's true that we need to look at the good things that we do have. I think I need to stop focusing on people judging me, because it's self-sabotaging. The problem is, although I recognize this, it's so hard to apply it. The negative thoughts get so intense! It's really a struggle, especially during depression when it feels like there's no way out. I still feel that way a lot, but I'm trying to hang in there.