It's been a long time since I posted or visited here. My therapy has continued for better or worse. The better is a noticeable decrease in SI and other depression like symptoms; most people don't know I'm struggling because I'm able to set it aside that for a time period (not think about it); and an increase in work productivity.

The worse or questionable worse is not knowing who I am anymore. Parts of me seem to be gone or seem to be only fleeting thoughts rather than whatever they were before. Very little in my inner world seems to make sense these days. There's this emotional "heaviness" to things. Additionally, there is this element of things feeling new. I'd almost describe it as a birth of a personality or something. It is not quite to the place where I feel like I am waiting for an operating system to be installed, it does feel like the majority of the book of my life is unwritten. I don't even know if any of this makes sense. Ignore if it doesn't.

Has anyone experienced anything that sounds similar?