I was bullied as an elementary school kid, which effected my self esteem. I was thrilled to move afterward and was never bullied again. I hardly thought about it over the years.

But when I developed an intimacy issue in my marriage, an on going nightmare relationship, I took a look back and remembered it. I still felt angry about it. I felt like if I’d run in to any of the mean girls from then, I’d tell them off for how they treated me and how much it hurt me. But, I never searched them out. I didn’t really want to confront them.

I’m not sure about the point I am making pertaining to you. Maybe you can glean something from my experience.