Thank you for the support and kind responses. Things took a nasty turn and he basically started a smear campaign against me online. He sent lies, hateful abusive messages and intimate personal details about me in a group chat we were both in that I’d forgotten to leave. He did the same to my brother, and also made up lies to turn him against me. I was completely publically humiliated, and I have flashbacks all the time of the things he said. After that came the apology emails on new accounts he made. Apologising so much but still ultimately blaming me for everything. I now feel so ashamed and so guilty. I feel humiliated and I feel like the worst person in the world. I feel I am to blame for everything and completely worthless. Last night I woke up after having nightmares and thought I could hear someone at the door, I convinced myself it was him trying to break in. I checked and no one was there but this is how I live now, in fear, crippled with shame and guilt and anxiety. I have changed my number and email and blocked him and his family everywhere I can. I saw a therapist but she had no availability after our first session, her only availability was weeks later and it was very disappointing. (I’ve seen her before and she’s great but has limited availability). I guess that hurt a lot as I really needed the support and I’ve no idea where to find a good therapist. I feel so very alone.