His behavior was nothing less than emotional blackmail on you done specifically to get you to feel guilty.

Stay strong & fight this effect it is having on you because there is absolutely no LOGICAL reason for your guilty feelings.

EVERYTHING he has done is ALL his choice. No one can make anyone make the choices he has made & used to manipulate you. You sure weren't holding him at gun point & making him do what he did. It was all his choice & way of manipulating into feeking guilty like you are doing.

Ah yes, the fear is real though because if he has done this crap to you, you have no idea what else he might try. I went through that fear after catching the home care person abusing my mom when my mom was dying of cancer back in 2004. I lived in fear of what she might do & where she might show up even after going to the police & filing a report against her. It just took time of nothing happening that finally reinforced that she had disappeared. It took me several years to put my fears to rest along with the PTSD that whole trauma caused.....but that is a separate issue from your guilty feelings you are dealing with.

Fight allowing emotional blackmail by someone to ever make you feel guilty.