I am moping today. My guy texted around midnight to say he was feeling down and didn’t want to talk. Understandable given all he was told about his health but I’m still feeling rejected. It’s not like we were dating for a long time like me and my ex were so he doesn’t owe me anything but I thought we could have had something really good. I’m disappointed that he doesn’t feel the same. I texted him this morning to let him know I’m thinking about him but he hasn’t texted back. That’s the last time I’m going to text him. If he want to talk to me he has my number if not oh well. I’m just so lonely. The holidays make me sad every year because my husband is not here to enjoy them with me anymore. I haven’t had anyone in my life during the holidays since he died. It’s another lonely year.

I went to my grandparents today with my son so that we could get out of the house for awhile. My grandfather is not doing well. He’s doing ok in terms of his dementia but he cannot get around very easily. He has a lot of trouble walking. He mostly stays in his room upstairs because he can not navigate the stairs. It’s sad seeing him like that. He’s about to be 87 so he’s getting up there in age. Not sure how much time he really has left. It’s sad.

Sigh. I’m not depressed just mopey about dating. I wish I believed in god so I could at least say if it’s meant to happen it will. But I don’t believe so I don’t have any hope.