I hate the time from now until around the end of January. I hate the holidays. I don't hate my family, for the most part, though I have an aunt & uncle I don't care for much and my father is just beyond messed up (I think he has Aspergers but it goes even beyond that, maybe is combined with ADHD, and delusions of himself somehow knowing the divine truth behind everything and also a Bible thumper ). I am Christian and believe in God, but I don't need a Bible thumper telling me my MI problems are due from not believing in God enough or that H's work problems are due to us not going to church often enough.

So we have Thanksgiving. A school birthday for my daughter. Her birthday is Dec. 14, ironically the same day as my father's birthday, a celebration the 3 of us at home for her birthday, a family Christmas & birthday with all the relatives, extended relatives, generally the annual fight between 2 of my aunts (my mom's older & younger sisters), sometimes drama caused by the oldest aunt's husband too, should something not be to his liking. All of which causes my maternal grandmother great upset. I mean, geez, at 85, just let her be happy, don't bring your drama out to upset her. My grandmother still lives on her own, has slowed a lot this last year, mind sharp as always, finally gave up driving (has glaucoma needing operation ASAP), but still keeps chickens, gardens a little. I hope to age half as well as she has. But she has had such a hard life; she deserves to enjoy this period of her life without being drawn into petty drama.

I HATE the constant Christmas music playing in the stores. They play it so much, I think I now officially hate all Christmas music. It's so expensive, gifts for everyone, even though we limit the Christmas gifts only to the kids 18 and under, that is still 5 nieces/nephews to buy for, plus birthday & Christmas for my daughter, and when finances are so tight, this is very stressful. All the gatherings stress me out. I hate Christmas parties. The end of December will be the 1 year anniversary of my mother-in-law's passing, hard on H, not helped that the funeral was so delayed (Jan. 8, MIL passed Dec. 28) because of the holidays.

New Year's doesn't get any better. Everyone is making a resolution to lose weight, and I have an ED, so I feel like I need to have a weight loss resolution as well and feel guilty that I do not. Everyone posts all their weight loss stats, exercise, diets, calories, ad nauseum all over Facebook. Weight loss ads dominate TV and the radio and are even more prominent in women's magazines. Thank God most of it ends by the end of February.

Oh, and I can't say I am exactly thrilled to be turning 41 in January either, then February brings up the anniversary of my ulcer perforation, which has to also be one of the most traumatic and painful times of my life.

I'm something of a Grinch.