They make Me lonely. Thanksgiving is fine except I have to deal with my incredibly rude uncle and his incredibly rude boys. This year I’m going to my in laws in Tennessee instead so at least there’s that. But Christmas always makes me sad. It was my husband’s favorite holiday. He loved buying gifts for people, especially our son. I hate buying gifts because I never know what to give anyone. Even my son, he’s so tech oriented now he hardly plays with toys anymore. I always feel so stressed out during Christmas because I have to do everything by myself. I just wish I had help.

Last Christmas was particularly bad as I was coming out of a severe depressive psychotic episode. I didn’t feel better until dec 21 so I put everything off till then. It was a mad scramble to get everything together in the end. There was a lot of crying and yelling at my husband. This year I’m not depressed (knock on wood) but I am just incredibly lonely.

That being said I do like seeing the Christmas lights. There’s a holiday light show near me at a farm that I like to take my son to. We didn’t manage to go last year because I was so depressed but I’m hoping we go again this year.