Well, I've now bailed on my first 5K. If I'd known it would be 32 degrees (F) and the ridiculousness of the course, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place. I still went, knowing it was 32 degrees and got through the first mile, but felt like I couldn't breathe the whole time, even just walking (it only got really cold the past couple days so my lungs haven't adapted), and the insane hills they had us going up (I mean really steep, like I felt I needed rock-climbing gear) and the mud and the fact that it was a high school (it was their cross country course) and mostly track team members double-lapping me...and shortly after the first mile, I was just like 'Yeah...no." and snuck off the course to my car.

At first I felt like this total failure and was ashamed to tell my H, who just did a 10K in similar temps last weekend. But he was understanding and does a lot more running. I haven't really done any training the past few weeks for assorted reasons (illness, busy with work, the days I could walk/run it was pouring rain and I despise treadmills, etc.). I know, excuses...but I thought I should still go out and try it, after having done OK on one last month (though that was mostly flat and running on roads, not grass).

And if this was even a week or two ago, I'd likely have emailed my T and been like "Please tell me I don't suck." But I'm not emailing him (I see him tomorrow anyway). I'm trying to tell myself: "You don't suck. You're not a quitter. You realized your limits and took yourself out of something you weren't ready for." (I mean, this was after crying for a minute in the car, but I got myself together). Maybe therapy is actually working?