As far as dealing with unmet needs and disappointments from childhood and family relationships, I think we look to meet those needs for support and nurturing and compassion elsewhere when that's possible, and we look to grieve those past losses and deficits when meeting them is no longer possible.

With parental relationships, I think both of those are key--some of those needs can and should be met in the present, by friends and mentors and loved ones and ourselves. And some of them can't, but it's still possible to move on over time.