I think there are several different things going on in what you're experiencing, and maybe it would be helpful to pull them apart.

1. Maternal feelings for male therapist-- as you note, a very normal experience and I've had them with my male therapist, after my partner's death. I'm not currently estranged from my mother, but I spent a decade without any contact at all with my FOO (family of origin, including father and sibs, not much extended family). Now it's been 15 years with contact, and the past couple (since my father died), I've grown closer to my mother, who turns out how a very warm and supportive side to her that I did not experience too much growing up. And I notice that my maternal feelings towards T have mellowed out since then, so I wonder if part of what is going on for you is that you need more support in your life.

2. In the helping professions-- I am too, and work with very badly traumatized people often in crisis-- not as a T. I think the downside of being a caregiver/supporter is that you use up your "deposits" of self-care or whatever brings you comfort/feeling cared for at work, and if there are no other places or people to increase your deposits, the withdrawals will tax you. Not a terrible healthy place to be. I've also noticed that at times when I am "taxed" with withdrawals, I am less engaged in a therapy session. The more nurtured and supported I feel, the more I'm able to hunker down and get to the hard stuff. So in my opinion, the maternal feelings are all wrapped up in everyday life and are quite impacted by it.

3. Support system outside therapy-- do you have one? Since I've been single, texting with friends (sometimes out of town) and establishing regular coffee dates or lunch dates has really helped. Contact with adults (I'm a Mom of a teen too) really helps me feel cared for and comforted. Texting is good for daily stuff like "can you believe what just happened related to work?" or other things. I also invite people over regularly (I'm a dynamite cook and enjoy it) because I've found an invitation to eat at my house is usually accepted.

I don't think that therapy is set up to take the place of a social support system. But don't you feel cared for and comforted in session? If so, can you discuss with the T ways besides getting an email response that might help you hold onto what you get in session. If you don't get enough in session (and is there really enough? It doesn't exactly feel that way to me), can you ask if there are ways to increase your sense of being comforted and supported while in therapy?

4. Self care and supporting yourself. Maybe I'm the only dummy who hasn't figured this stuff out yet, but when I started to spend my time and my money on activities (mostly) and things (not so much, as I don't like to accumulate) that invoked pleasure and enjoyment and seemed to improve my quality of life, I felt emotionally and physically better and pretty dramatically so. Taking an inventory of what I wanted to spend my money on and my time on and then following through with steps to make that happen has been key. Some of it is very simple (spending more time outdoors, walking the dog and in the garden) and free, other things cost money but I was able to figure out how to budget for what *really* made a difference for me. It's like it's taken me quite some time to figure out how to really organize my life so my home and my time and my stuff is more suited to me.