Thank you, everyone!

I will tell them what I have written here. No, we cannot do a small family wedding nearby. His parents are out of state, elderly and in wheelchairs.

Divine, I did not expect my parents to pay for anything. I just cannot afford it all myself, I realized later on after looking more realistically at it.

Yes, I think it is unrealistic that my dad wants to still "give me away" as though I am 22!!! Perhaps it does have to do with my having lived with them recently and on and off, and them still not seeing me as an independent adult. I don't know. Or perhaps they are still steeped in a traditional mindset. I am guessing the latter. They are pretty old school.

Either way, I am going to bite the bullet and tell them. It's just not going to happen.... now, the question is, when do I tell them? Just the four of us are having Thanksgiving dinner together so I am sure they will ask about wedding plans. Do I tell them before or after Thanksgiving?? UGH.