Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
Hi there. I believe that people should not restrict each other’s friendships. That would be far too controlling and limiting. It’s a matter of your own comfort level though. Are you comfortable with her having male friends? If you’re not, then you have your answer, but that will also limit you quite a bit when it comes to relationships.
Men and women certainly can be platonic friends without any threat to the relationship. My fiancé and I both have friends of the opposite sex. We are not threatened by those friendships. Both of us are secure enough, we trust each other and we have a solid relationship so there is no threat. I think when people feel insecure about themselves and/ or the relationship, trust issues develop. People have to feel secure in order to feel comfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite sex. If you’re not secure, then it’s going to be a problem.
So the real question is, do you feel secure enough within yourself and within the relationship to feel comfortable with her having male friends? Or are you going to be suspicious of every male friend she has?
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Hi! Thank you for the reply.
You mentioned the key word, "insecurity" I have always based my life philosophies on life long experiences. So being cheated on in the past, in a marriage with 3 children, it was devastating. It is true I never learned to get past that situation, it was embedded in my mind as a valuable life lesson. Obviously now though, I have reconsidered my philosophies and made appropriate steps to change some of them in a positive way, because the relationship I am in now, which was restored, means everything to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with this lady. So yes, all the fault was plainly mine. So I had to decide what was more important in my life, obviously she is. So I have had to do some real, deep, soul searching. I know the end result is the right result. Friends of the opposite sex is appropriate. There should be appropriate times to text and the texts should remain transparent. That eliminates all suspicion. Hopefully I am correct in my thought process.
Have a great week and stay positive.
Remember, "We get out of life, what we put into it!"
sincerely,
larry