Quote:
Originally Posted by larry64
Hi! Thank you for the reply. 
You mentioned the key word, "insecurity" I have always based my life philosophies on life long experiences. So being cheated on in the past, in a marriage with 3 children, it was devastating. It is true I never learned to get past that situation, it was embedded in my mind as a valuable life lesson. Obviously now though, I have reconsidered my philosophies and made appropriate steps to change some of them in a positive way, because the relationship I am in now, which was restored, means everything to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with this lady. So yes, all the fault was plainly mine. So I had to decide what was more important in my life, obviously she is. So I have had to do some real, deep, soul searching. I know the end result is the right result. Friends of the opposite sex is appropriate. There should be appropriate times to text and the texts should remain transparent. That eliminates all suspicion. Hopefully I am correct in my thought process. 
Have a great week and stay positive.
Remember, "We get out of life, what we put into it!" 
sincerely,
larry |
Hi. I am glad you have changed your thinking on this and that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with her. I would be very careful though around telling her when she can text her male friends and about asking to see the texts. That is too far controlling. She will resent it, most likely, and will feel you don't trust her. In order to fully let go of your past, you must allow yourself to give her the benefit of the doubt and trust her more. IF she chooses to tell you what they're texting about, that is her choice, but in my opinion, you don't have the right to ask to see the texts or to tell her they must be transparent. I also don't think you have the right to tell her when it's appropriate to text her male friends. Unless there is reason for suspicion, why make it seem like it's suspect from the beginning? Get my point?